System Of A Down North American "tour"

I mentioned these guys briefly a couple days ago, when I said that all I want is Serj and Maynard to be locked in a studio with enough food, water, and drugs to last a month. Well, I wasn't going to write up a post about them, but then, on Tuesday, I saw North American tour dates posted on Blabbermouth, and experianced the biggest wave of excitement ever.....Followed by a even bigger wave of depression.....Followed by a slight spout of confusion when I saw "AL". (For those that don't recall, I live in Alabama.)

SYSTEM OF A DOWN has scheduled the following North American headlining shows:

May 10 - Edmonton, AL - Rexall Place
May 12 - Vancouver, BC - Rogers Arena
May 13 - Seattle, WA - Key Arena
May 15 - Mountain View, CA - Shoreline Amphitheatre
May 18 - Denver, CO - Comfort Dental Amphitheatre
May 19 - Albuquerque, NM - Journal Pavilion
May 22 - Las Vegas, NV - The Pear

GOGOL BORDELLO will also appear on the bill as "special guests."

That's right. After half a decade of being on hiatus, they finally return, and perform FIVE dates in the US. None of which are under 1,000 miles from me. Oh, and of course, this is at the same time that Rammstein are doing the same thing. No US dates in 10 years....BAM! New York, Washington, California, and Nevada dates! So, even, if by some miracle, I CAN afford to travel to one of these shows, (Not to mention getting the tickets the second they go on sale, which shortens the time I have to save up money.) there's no way in Hell I can ever afford to go to both SYOD and Rammstein. (Two bands that are on my Top 10 to See Before I Die list.) So, basically, what I'm saying is if there is anyone out there that you are willing to pay for me to kill and/or fuck (In the order of your choosing.) then, well, I need money. Alternatively, I suppose clicking those ads over there --> could help.......But seriously....I hear that the hit-gigolo line of work can be a pretty lucrative business.

Also, I doubt there's very many of you that haven't heard of System of a Down, but this wouldn't be the first time I've been wrong. So, if you want, I can write up a real post about them, but this rant is long enough for one post.